By Elizabeth Valentin
Arts Editor
Aziz Ansari is one of the most recent men in Hollywood to have allegations of sexual misconduct attached to his name. In an article from Babe magazine, written by Katie Way, a 23-year-old, then 22, photographer from Brooklyn claims that she was sexually assaulted by Ansari in his Manhattan apartment after she went on a date with him.
The photographer who used the pseudonym, Grace, to protect her identity when talking with Babe, says that she believes he rushed through their date and brought her to his apartment and immediately made sexual advances towards her.
Way’s focus on the wine while describing the date plants a seed for the reader to have the idea of choice at the forefront of their mind while reading, stating that “Grace” said “’It was white,’ she said. ‘I didn’t get to choose and I prefer red, but it was white wine.’”
It is unclear if “Grace” ever told Ansari that she wanted red wine. This means that the reader does not know if she tried to have a choice from the beginning of the night.
When Ansari takes her to his apartment, Grace says that he started kissing her from the start and that he immediately undressed her and then undressed himself. They performed oral sex on one another, which she says she wasn’t entirely comfortable with, but did not explain to him. If she was so uncomfortable from the beginning of this sexual encounter, she should have made that clear to him.
Grace says that she used several “clear” verbal and non-verbal cues to indicate her discomfort, but mentions that her verbal cues included mumbling under her breath. This indicates that it is likely that Ansari did not read the non-verbal cues the way that she intended because non-verbal cues can often be vague. Mumbling is also not a clear verbal cue, as it can be difficult to hear.
When she does make it verbally clear that she is not interested in sex on their first date, she follows this up by saying “next time.” This is something that can lead a person to believe that you do have some interest in having sex at some point.
Grace explained that he told her that they would “chill” on the couch, where he soon after motioned to ask her to perform oral sex again. This is, again, where she should have made it clear that she was also uncomfortable with oral sex, seeing as she had already performed it once before in the night.
She explained that afterwards she repeated that she was not interested in having sex with him, to which he responded by saying they would “chill” on the couch again, but this time with their clothes on. While they did this, she expected him to play with her hair or touch her back in order to calm her down. It is unclear why she would expect this, as he may have been avoiding this physical contact at this point.
Eventually, he called her an Uber after she once again explained that she was uncomfortable. During the ride home, Grace told Babe that she cried and texted her friends about what had just happened. She explained that she took time to consult with her friends about whether or not this was sexual assault.
It is also clear that she was allowed to leave at her discretion because Ansari did not try to stop her. This begs the question of why she did not leave as soon as she began to feel so uncomfortable.
To say that Ansari, who called this anonymous woman a cab when he realized the extent of her discomfort with the situation, should be lumped into a group with men like Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K, or Kevin Spacey takes away from the severity of the countless stories of traumatic sexual assault that people have been sharing as part of the #MeToo movement.
The account provided by “Grace” merely shows that Ansari could not read her mind. He could not read her mind when she wanted red wine instead of white wine. He could not read her mind when she wanted him to play with her hair. He could not read her mind when she did not clearly express what was going through her head during the course of the night.
This is a tricky case to sort through because part of defining a sexual assault is whether or not the potential victim is comfortable with the situation and has provided clear evidence that they do not consent. While this is the case, the girl may have been highly uncomfortable, but she did not make it absolutely clear to Ansari that she was uncomfortable from the very beginning. It is not ethical to disbelieve someone who comes forward to claim sexual assault, but the description provided by Grace does not fit the definition. It would be equally unethical to accuse and defame someone who did not commit a crime.
This girl, who is not famous, went on a date with Ansari, who is a renowned celebrity and icon. This creates a sort of power dynamic between them. It is possible that she may believe that she was sexually assaulted because the conversation surrounding powerful men in Hollywood created a pre-existing idea for her of what might happen throughout the night, especially when things became sexual. This may have caused her to view the situation that she was in with through the lens of the #MeToo movement. This might be evident in her claim that she told him that “‘You guys are all the same.’” It is also possible that this girl simply wanted to jump onto a bandwagon. That is something that, unfortunately, only she knows.
The only part of this that is absolutely clear is that Ansari is innocent and did not have any malevolent intent towards this unnamed girl. This is a case of a bad date, not a sexual assault.
