By AILEEN BURKE
Executive Editor
I hesitate to say that I am comfortable with death. I am comfortable, at the very least with discussing it. This is mostly due to my melanoma diagnosis. Although my prognosis is great, I learned fast that when life gives you lemons, the last thing you want to hear is about some rando’s uncle who died from lemons.
I will not hesitate to say this point blank: diagnosis does not equal death.
A cancer diagnosis does equal just that: a diagnosis.
Personally, the most fascinating element of my ordeal is the subconscious association that different people make with a cancer diagnosis. It’s usually not fun or cute or pleasant at all.
Let me paint a picture:
“Hey, name of friend who was with me when I found out they needed to test me for cancer and knows how nervous I am,” An awkward unintentional pause for the drama, of course. “it’s stage three, we’re not sure how far it’s gone,”
“Oh no,” said now totally triggered friend. “That’s not good, that’s how my grandmother died.”
While I never expected anyone to play my therapist, I also never expected something so abysmal from a friend in my inner circle.
With time, and many tears from people I am close with, I realized that the idea of a cancer diagnosis is terrifying to some humans. Cancer, and more specifically melanoma, are just words that my friend associated with the death of his grandmother.
Cancer has touched almost every single person in some way, and many people know someone who has died from one type or another. I feel confident in making this blanket statement. It’s unfortunately more common than not.
When bystanders experience a cancer death their responses can unintentionally upend the person who was diagnosed. People aren’t actually terrified of cancer specifically, they’re scared of the possibility of death. The notion of death is something so natural and inevitable and shouldn’t be scary at all. I digress…
Dear whoever out there that might be reading this, please don’t kill a cancer patient while they’re still alive.
People are usually very surprised with how well I take the lemons life gave me. Lemons can be still sour as hell, but the tiniest bit of sugar changes the whole taste.
It’s not about your lemons, or another person’s lemons, or how many lemons life chucks at your head. It’s how you take those lemons and make something sweeter.
Lemons might kill you, who knows? But there are plenty of ways to make the best of the lemons you’ve got.
