By KIM BURGESS
Staff Writer
Dealing with death in everyday life is hard enough, but during school it becomes especially difficult. This semester has been a challenging one for me personally, since my uncle died the first week of classes and less than four weeks later my dog died.
While my specific situation may be unique, I am not the only one who has had to juggle grief and schoolwork. If you ever find yourself in this unfortunate situation you should know there are some steps you can take to make it a little easier to handle.
Speak to Your Advisor
After I found out about my uncle’s death, I went to my advisor to find out what I should do. Your advisor is there for more than just creating your class schedule. You should view your advisor as a resource for any decisions involving your academic future.
If you have lost someone especially close to you, like a parent or sibling, it is possible you might need to drop a few classes or even take some time off from school. You should go to your advisor to work out what your options are.
Go to the Registrar
During the first week of the semester I had to miss a few days of class since I needed to travel out of town to attend the wake, the funeral and to pay my respects to my aunt and cousins. My advisor instructed me to go to the registrar before I left.
The registrar’s office can send out an email to your professors explaining that you have had a death in your family and will be unable to attend class. The benefit of getting this email sent out from the school is that it is official and informs all of your professors at once. Depending on your situation, you might not be able to email all of your professors yourself.
Tell Your Professors
While the school can email your professors for you, it would still be in your best interest to talk to your professors yourself as soon as possible to avoid any problems down the line. The longer you wait to tell a professor about what has happened, the more it will look like an excuse.
Contrary to some students’ beliefs, professors are people capable of compassion and understanding. It is unlikely any of them will give you a hard time if you go to them as soon as you are able and explain your situation. They can usually work out arrangements with you in case you miss a test or need extra time to do your homework.
Seek Help at the Counseling Center
A death in your life is going to impact more than your schoolwork. It is something that will affect you mentally and emotionally in your day to day life. The pressure of staying on top of your class load along with going through the grief cycle may be too much to handle. The Counseling Center offers free short-term grief counseling to full-time students. If you have never been to the Counseling Center before, you will have to get a screening done first. A screening only takes about 15 minutes and consists of you explaining what has happened and why you need help. Within a week you will get a call from a counselor to schedule a first meeting. From there, the two of you work out a treatment plan.
Students are allotted eight visits with a counselor. It is possible this might be all you need. Sometimes just having someone to talk to can help. You cannot expect too much of yourself when dealing with death. It is normal, although annoying, to find yourself unfocused during class or to see your grades slip a little. Having someone to talk to about these things and normalize them for you can be comforting.
Should you need more help beyond your allotted visits, the Counseling Center also offers outside referrals for long-term treatment.
Take Care of Yourself
The stress of losing someone you love, of school, of work and of life can be too much at once. As hard as it can be, you need to remember to take care of the basics. The most important thing when dealing with your grief is to take care of yourself.
Remember to give yourself adequate time to sleep, remember to eat throughout the day (even if it is just a snack), and do not attempt to hold back your emotions. If you need to cry or be angry or sad then let yourself be. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Grief is a process and is irrational at times. Do not be too hard on yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and know that, while it may be difficult now (and it certainly still is for me), you can get through it and in time you will feel better.
