By BRIANA SPINA
News Editor
Have you ever paused after telling someone that you’re “good” and realized how inaccurate that word is to describe your mood? Many students have had that experience, and some attended a workshop on Thursday, Mar. 22 that addressed this conflict.
The event was called “”I’m Fine!” “How are you, really?”- An Unfiltered campus-wide conversation about self-care, wellness, and mental health” and it was a collaborative effort, with help from the Counseling Center, Black Student Union (BSU), Office of Intercultural Leadership, Office of Spiritual Life, and Student Affairs.
The idea arose from the “MLK Justice for All” campus-wide dialogue that was held earlier this year. Khia Duncan, a senior and the president of BSU, noticed that within this dialogue there was quite a bit of discussion regarding mental health. She wanted to take this topic further, so she approached Lamara Burgess, Associate Director of Intercultural Leadership. At the time, Burgess had been starting to organize an event about mental health, so they decided to work together and reach out to the aforementioned offices.
Conversations about emotional well-being are important to Duncan.
“If I’m going through things,” she said, “then my friends probably are, too. It’s important to check in with people.”
Making sure that the people around Duncan are doing well is something she strives for.
“[Duncan] always checks in on me,” said Tyler Sumter, the vice president of the BSU. “She does it excessively.”
At the start of the event, Burgess spoke a bit about the intentions of the night and for what this space will be used.
“We wanted to create a platform where you all come together in this safe space…to talk openly, unfiltered, meaning you can talk about whatever you want,” Burgess said.
She also invited students to be “open, honest,” and to make themselves vulnerable. With this openness and vulnerability, the entire group set guidelines to follow to ensure that everyone felt safe to express themselves honestly without fear of judgement. An emphasis was placed on respect, empathy, and most importantly, confidentiality, though the administrators informed the students about mandated reporting: if a student discussed something that is a danger themself or others, then it must be addressed further outside of the night’s dialogue for safety.
The first activity, a mindfulness exercise, was mediated by Joan Horgan, the director of campus ministry. She instructed participants to focus on their breathing, and be present in the current moment, as opposed to dwelling on yesterday’s mistakes or the future’s anxieties.
“Part of being mindful is checking in with yourself,” Horgan said.
Her concluding thought for the exercise was a reminder that “we are not only here to say our true story, but to listen to the truths of others with kindness.”
Next, Amanda Bastiani, the associate director of violence prevention, initiated a conversation about the reasons why everyone came to this event and the importance of releasing stress.
“When people ask ‘how are you?’ I tend to say ‘I’m fine’ even when I can’t talk around this lump in my throat,” she said.
Sister Sean Peters, director of mission experience, pointed out that if you ever find yourself resorting to the default answer of ‘I’m fine,’ you should “take a moment to ask yourself, ‘but how are you really?’”
Going off this, Horgan mentioned that it is very isolating and lonely “when nobody knows how you’re actually feeling” and that is why she “want[s] to be a part of the dialogue” regarding mental wellness.
The students in attendance had similar reasons for coming to the event. Many said how they wanted to help their peers and address the issue of putting up a positive front even when you are in a very negative headspace.
With this issue in mind, Bastiani handed out small slips of paper to the participants that read “I say ‘I’m fine’ when I am really ______.” Everyone filled in the blank and discussed it in small groups before opening up to the whole room. After this discussion was an open and unprompted dialogue. Burgess told students, “This is a space for you to use as it is comfortable for you.” As she anticipated people would share deeply emotional stories she advised the listeners not to immediately try to console someone who starts crying while talking, for “that could be silencing.”
After the dialogue, during which several students shared their struggles and received support from their peers, Burgess thanked them for having the “courage” to be so “open and vulnerable.” She also reminded them that she as well as the other offices that helped to organize this event are always available as a support system and a resource.
There is a high level of interest for this event to be continued, perhaps having a dialogue once or twice every month of the school year. Nothing has been confirmed yet.
In closing, Burgess said “No matter how lonely you may feel sometimes, you are not alone.”
