By M. William Smith
Staff Writer
I’m about to bring something up that I don’t like to bring up too often, because people generally make fun of me for saying it. It’s a dark secret I’ve held on to for years, and I am now going to publicly share this information with you here, in The Chronicle, for all to see. Are you ready? There’s no turning back after this paragraph. Ok, here we go:
I actually like 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.
Before you throw this newspaper in the trash and question my sanity, allow me to explain. I would never make the argument that the film is great or that it holds a special place in my heart or anything like that. But the kneejerk reaction people had for the film upon its release was one of contempt. It’s a slick, entertaining joyride with some spectacular sequences and memorable imagery. It’s dumb, sure, but director Stephen Sommers reveled in the inherent dumbness and made a worthwhile product out of it.
With that out of the way, it’s possible I was one of very few people looking forward to this new film, G.I. Joe: Retaliation. However, since none of you people liked the first film, the studio went ahead and made some significant changes when preparing for the sequel. The first is that Sommers is no longer acting as director, and was replaced by Jon Chu. Sommers had experience delivering solidly dumb movies in the past, directing the first two Mummy movies, but Chu built his career with dancing films like Step Up 2 The Streets and Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. A curious choice, to be sure, but then the studio went ahead and got a mostly new cast of characters for the film, almost completely severing ties with The Rise of Cobra.
All of this served to make me a bit skeptical of the film going in, so I’m glad to say that Retaliation does carry on the spirit of the first film, even if it completely ignores most of what that film did. When it comes down to a G.I. Joe film, all I really want to see are some crazy action scenes, a sense of humor, and some fun one-liners, and this film has that in spades. What makes this franchise work is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously; in fact, it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. That’s how you get away with an action sequence with a hundred ninjas fighting on the side of a mountain and just moving on to the next scene without much comment. It’s a movie where the army coexists with ninjas and they have to fight a guy who is impersonating the president of the United States using technology that makes his face change. If you’re taking this seriously, you’re doing something wrong.
Ultimately, I do think the film is weaker than The Rise of Cobra. That film had a real sense of knowing what it wants to be and accomplishing it; Retaliation feels more like a collection of cool scenes that don’t really know what to do with each other, and there’s never anything as awesome as seeing The Eiffel Tower crumble before your eyes like in the first film. Still, seeing overall awesome human being The Rock just run over guys in a tank is satisfying in a way I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain. Just know that if you liked the first film (which basically means you’re me and you’re reading your own article in the paper, you egocentric maniac), than you’ll probably enjoy this one. If you hated the first film, you might actually like it, since it’s different enough from that film that it might be more in line with your tastes. Anyway, now you know. And knowing is half the battle!
Final Grade: B-
